What we are feeling during this time is grief

Profound sense of loss

Longing for what used to be and sense that it will never be the same

 

1. Acknowledge your feelings/call them grief/say hello to say goodbye

• It is perfectly okay to not be okay

• We have to be able to say hello to our sense of loss first, before being able to move forward and function in our new normal

2. We are feeling different kinds of grief all at once

• loss of our general sense of safety

• loss of normalcy and routine

• Fear of economic toll

• Loss of connection

• anticipatory grief=anxiety: we know a storm is coming, uncertain future

• Collective grief-shared with all of society

 

3. Self Compassion is needed - give yourself time to readjust and allow your brain to reset as you do a mental shift

• Don’t expect too much out of yourself, first realize that we need to deal with our basic needs and the needs of those around us at this time.

• Trying to engage in a frenzy of activity or obsess too much about productivity right now involves denial of the actual situation at hand.

• Given time you will be better able to embrace a new normal

• This is a marathon not a sprint, we need time to adjust and reframe

 

4. Ways to look at grief

• Stages of Grief: (do not always happen in order)

• Denial: So hard to believe that this virus has become so dangerous and changedeverything that we distract and act like its not really happening

• Anger: unfair that it has disrupted my studies, graduation, athletics, etc.

• Bargaining:

• Sadness: from unstoppable tears to sometimes extreme feeling of depression

• Acceptance: gain some control by knowing what we need to do to keep ourselves and loved ones safe, such as staying home as much as possible, keeping a safe distance, careful hand washing, working or learning virtually.

• Meaning: find a way to gain a renewed sense of purpose and value in life

• Grief is often seen as coming in waves, at first the feelings engulf you without warning, later, we can notice the feeling as it comes and allow it and learn to be able to ride it out and eventually as time goes by we will notice smaller ripples that are easier to float along with.

 

Things that can help:

Come into the present instead of worrying about what might happen

• tell yourself this is only a temporary state and it will get better/say it out loud

• Name five things in the room

• Breathe in through your nose for 5 seconds and then out through your mouth for 5 seconds. Notice the feeling of breath in your nostrils and lips. Repeat twice

• Feel a soft blanket, pet a furry animal

• Stand outside and feel the wind

• Taste something sweet, bite an apple,

• Stretch your arms above your head

 

Try this mindfulness exercise from TAO Connect that is free to public and needs no log in to

access.

 

7 apps for help now

 

 

References: https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief?fbclid=IwAR2JPEdzv8adye9byYTfck6JIkACBT0R8UKhfuil4smHhQqSA6PkVC6CZHYhttps://www.chronicle.com/article/Why-You-Should-Ignore-All-That/248366?fbclid=IwAR1QPSbvQK-0FVWVt937YozhOhg_L63ha3TxW-vuP5HqiGRc53Bj9mLUl0Q